If you feel like a room without a roof

happy So here I am, half here and half there.

But I’m happy, so it doesn’t matter.

I’ve been getting bombarded by requests from my superiors at work for updates on the various projects I’ve been working on. It was getting a little irritating (“You know, the time I spend writing up a summary of what I’m doing on Project X I could have spent actually making some progress on Project X!”) until I realized that they are preparing already for my departure.

I wasn’t feeling like what I was doing was particularly effective but I guess my bosses disagree.

Today, we had a meeting with a consultant who will be largely taking over some of what I do. It’s to be hoped that he is better at workforce development than I am, so the board gets their money’s worth. But soon enough, that’s not going to be my problem.

I can foresee, though, that I’m going to be spending my time between now and June wrapping things up and shutting things down and arranging things so that what I started doesn’t have to die when I leave. When I think about it in those terms … they should really have been paying me a lot more than they are.

But, of course, that doesn’t matter anymore because I’m on my way out the door. Dancing a jig as I go.

I know I already said this but it would be difficult to overstate how ecstatic I am about being able to move on to graduate school later this year. At the same time, I’m kind of in limbo right now. There are some thing I know about my offer of funding from UNC. There are some other things I’m still waiting to hear about. And, on top of that, they don’t open up the Fall semester for registration until April, so I’m going to have to wait before I start thinking about what courses to take in the fall. I’m planning a trip down there in April, at which point I hope to sit down with my adviser and get him to tell me about some of this stuff. There are a couple of other people I’m going to sit down with to talk about living down there and stuff I need to know.

At this point, the plane tickets are bought and the hotel room is paid for and the rental car is reserved. I’m very much looking forward to a little time on my own and at the same time getting to have a small taste of my new school. UNC is going to be a hugely new experience for me after teeny-tiny Hartwick. The place averages around 18,000 students — undergraduate and graduate — which is fairly ginormous. My sense is that the Anthropology Department has around 50 graduate students or so at any point in time. What level they are all at, I couldn’t even begin to guess.

Another thing I’m twitching about is the simple fact that I really have no idea what to expect. I mean, I have never been in graduate school before. Gina was in graduate school for awhile but getting a graduate degree from a terminal Master’s program is a different animal that getting a Ph.D. from a doctoral program.

I’m getting a little ahead of myself here.

I do that when I’m excited about the next part of the adventure called my life. I can’t wait to get started on the next bit and then it’s hard for me to stick with this stuff I have to finish up first.

But the boring stuff I have to finish up first isn’t going away, even though I wish it was spring and I was packing and getting ready to move. There’s even a possibility that it will turn out to be significantly less boring than I thought it would be.

Somehow, I have to hold it together and avoid leaving before I leave. That would be very unfair to the people who gave me a job right out of Hartwick and kept me from suffering the fate of so many of my classmates, who went months and months and months without finding work. As little as I have enjoyed this employment stint, I’ll confess that it has been nice to have a little bit of money and be able to live like decent human beings.

Being broke really sucks.

Being in graduate school will mean a real reduction in my income. Of course, if I am able to earn outside funding, that will help. I don’t want to take out a string of loans and end up $100K in debt when I get out school. That kind of defeats the purpose.

Do you see how scattered my thinking is right now? It’s hard for me to stay calm right now but I need to breathe. I’m not moving for another four months. I don’t start school until August.

I have time.

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One thought on “If you feel like a room without a roof

  1. Yeah don’t do what I did. Though to be fair there is NO financial aid for AT’s at the graduate level.

    I’m SOOOOOO excited for you and your trip in April and your move over the summer 🙂

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