I was nervous but Gina was very excited.
Yes, it’s only a picture and only taken in the comfort of my own living room/dining room. But I’ve told you more than once about how I hate all pictures of me and I particularly am twitchy about progress pictures because I’m always afraid I haven’t made any more progress.
Of course, that’s nonsense. But, when it comes to my current weight loss odyssey, I am frequently nonsensical.
I have noticed, for example, that I get very intimidated by my FIRM DVDs. They’re really challenging, although some of them are more challenging than others. So, what to I do? Do I dive into them enthusiastically, reveling in the challenge and congratulating myself on killing that difficult workout?
Well … eventually.
First I have to spend a bunch of time working myself up to doing the workout at all. Then I have to toy with the idea of doing the workout with really light weights, because I’m afraid I can’t do it if I try going all out. After that, maybe, I’ll try doing the workout and, if I have managed to get this far, I will usually end up feeling really good that I managed to do it all the way through without killing myself.
And I’ll wonder why it took me so long to get myself to do that one.
I did that before picture-taking time last night. The workout in question was Kelsie’s Pump, Jump and Jab, and it took me about two weeks to work myself up to doing it. Those of you who are familiar with The FIRM will know that Kelsie’s workouts are always the hardest ones you can do. That particular workout has a lot of kickboxing moves and it’s a lot of fun to do. But, as is always the case with Kelsie, it also has a bunch of killer leg work.
It was a good workout.
Then came the moment of truth.
As you can see, I’ve actually made quite a bit of progress since last October when I made the decision to get serious about my health and fitness. For the record, I did not wait until I had lost 80 pounds before sharing these pictures. I don’t know how much weight I’ve lost because, right at first, all the fat I was losing was being replaced by gains in muscle mass, so it looked on the scale like I wasn’t losing anything. And now that I’m actually starting to lose a bit of real weight, I don’t step onto the scale very often because that can sometimes be discouraging.
On the flip side, there have been some very encouraging things. These pictures, for starters — in which I go from looking like I’m about 7 months pregnant to looking like I’m not pregnant at all, are extremely encouraging. I had reached a point where I couldn’t even stretch fully (and I am very flexible, even when I’m fat as a flawn) because my belly fat was getting in the way, but that’s going away now, too. As intimidated as I get when I think too hard about the workout I’m going to do this evening, I find I can do my workouts — even the most challenging ones. And my clothes are just getting looser and looser on me. I’m even starting to get into some things that I haven’t worn in quite awhile because they were uncomfortably tight or just looked awful on me.
As far as I’m concerned, the encouraging stuff far outweighs the discouraging stuff … no pun intended.
If I’m honest with myself, I will confess that I would very much prefer it if my results were a lot more dramatic. On the other hand, by the time I’m done, the difference between the first picture and the last will be as dramatic as I could wish.
Setting my secret wish for high drama, I’m really starting to feel like I’m going to get where I want to be eventually. That’s pretty encouraging, too.