Turn it into something good

I don’t generally do New Year’s Resolutions. I pretty much agree with CGP Grey that resolutions are usually not good for anything except giving yourself a reason to beat up on yourself come March.

So, I have gone the theme route. My theme for 2020 is self-care.

The nice thing about that is that it is very broad and encompasses a lot of different kinds of activities. I have even already gotten started in a number of different ways.

Wide awake with arms wide open

Happy New Year.

I spent New Year’s Eve at home with the boys, as usual. The end of the decade and the start of a new decade provoked a reflective mood.

It’s been a hell of a decade.

It started with me going back to school and getting divorced.

They have stolen the heart from inside you

I’ve been thinking about my mother a lot lately.

There are a few different reasons for that.

For one thing, I have now officially outlived her. She died when she was 59 years and thirteen days old. I passed that milestone (if that’s what you want to call it) on April 16th of this year. I spent a few months fretting because, deep down in the irrational part of me, I was afraid I wouldn’t and that was unacceptable to me because I still have things I want to do.

Another reason that she has come to mind is because she never did forgive me for dropping out of college (twice!) without earning any sort of degree. At the time, I told her that there wasn’t anything I wanted to do for which I needed a degree, and if I ever decided I wanted to do something that required a degree, I’d go get one. As matters evolved, that is precisely what I ended up doing.

Timid heart, hide my scars

It’s Ricky’s birthday!

Ricky turns 20 years old today, so from now until August 12th, all my children are in their 20s. Fancy that.

Ricky’s arrival in the world was an episode of Murphy’s Law in action.

It was a bright, sunny day at the end of May when I went into labor for what would be the last time in my life and the weather was the best thing about it. For starters, the neighbor who had offered to babysit for my kids when I needed to go to the hospital was nowhere to be found. I kept calling right up until the moment I needed to leave but she seemed to have disappeared into thin air. So, we all went to the hospital to welcome Ricky into the world.

I have no idea what that was like for anybody. I had other things on my mind.