They have stolen the heart from inside you

I’ve been thinking about my mother a lot lately.

There are a few different reasons for that.

For one thing, I have now officially outlived her. She died when she was 59 years and thirteen days old. I passed that milestone (if that’s what you want to call it) on April 16th of this year. I spent a few months fretting because, deep down in the irrational part of me, I was afraid I wouldn’t and that was unacceptable to me because I still have things I want to do.

Another reason that she has come to mind is because she never did forgive me for dropping out of college (twice!) without earning any sort of degree. At the time, I told her that there wasn’t anything I wanted to do for which I needed a degree, and if I ever decided I wanted to do something that required a degree, I’d go get one. As matters evolved, that is precisely what I ended up doing.
Continue reading

Advertisements

Timid heart, hide my scars

It’s Ricky’s birthday!

Ricky turns 20 years old today, so from now until August 12th, all my children are in their 20s. Fancy that.

Ricky’s arrival in the world was an episode of Murphy’s Law in action.

It was a bright, sunny day at the end of May when I went into labor for what would be the last time in my life and the weather was the best thing about it. For starters, the neighbor who had offered to babysit for my kids when I needed to go to the hospital was nowhere to be found. I kept calling right up until the moment I needed to leave but she seemed to have disappeared into thin air. So, we all went to the hospital to welcome Ricky into the world.

I have no idea what that was like for anybody. I had other things on my mind.
Continue reading

Gotta kiss myself, I’m so pretty

hate-it-change-it This month’s Transformation Tuesday post that’s posted on a Wednesday is a celebration of non-scale victories (NSVs).

Which is not to say that I don’t have any victories of the scale to report; weight loss continues to happen.

It’s just that this post by Slimming B’Simscha reminded me that the stuff you don’t see on the scale is, in many ways, more important.

So let me tell you about some of the latest non-scale victories I’ve been experiencing that have been making me feel amazing:
Continue reading

Remember that love is left

4 It’s Gina’s birthday! She’s 27 years old today.

Gina was my second baby and she was about as easy as it gets. I had another textbook pregnancy with her and she arrived two days before her official due date. Thanks to assiduous oiling and massage, there was no episiotomy and not even any tearing. She was born at around 10 am and we were both home by dinner time.

When it comes to producing babies, it really doesn’t get any easier than that.

Gina was a darling, amazingly cute little kid. She was very different from her little sister, in that she took everything extremely seriously. She had to kind of grow into her sense of humor. I never had any problem with that because I, evil person that I am, had enough of a sense of humor for both of us. I spent a lot of time laughing at Gina when she was little. She didn’t know it, of course; I’m evil but I’m not cruel. Continue reading